What should I do about my cat?

My cat is half Norwegian Forest cat and half Ragdoll. She is about 5 or six years old. She is beautiful, and loves me very much, as I love her very much. She was found on a parking lot, and was perfectly normal until I got my dog. When I got him she went bazerk, and it was obvious she was petrified of him. He stays up stairs, so she stays down stairs, but that's not the problem. The problem is that she stopped cleaning herself. She often smells like urine, and her once pink rear-end is now very dirty and smelly. Not only that, but she scoots along the floor while licking herself like crazy. My parents said that she isn't allowed out of the laundry room (which is where we keep our cats when were not around) because we have new carpet. I would give her frequent baths, but she fights so much that it is extremely difficult, and a multiple person job. The problem is, my parents wont help me because my dad doesn't do anything for our animals and my mom has "better things to do". My kitty also gets REALLY knotty, which I try to brush her often, but I don't usually get to it. I try shaving the knots off but she struggles and it is so hard to see her skin, and I don't want to hurt her. At my house, we don't take our pets to groomers, although I've asked my mom to take her before and make her nice and clean. I volunteer at a no-kill humane society and I know my family wants to leave her there. I want to do what's best for my cat, and I don't know what that is. I love her, and am just trying to be a good cat owner! Please help!!!
Some other info.:
I don't know anybody who would take her. My friends and family know what a pain/hassle she is, and she would go live on my uncle's farm, but being declawed, that wouldn't work too well.

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