My Friend Doesnt Realise Shes Hurting Me!?
Im 28 and Ive a friend that is 21, she lives at home (farm) and we met because we both had horses (we were at a competition), weve also got on ok, and I do value her friendship.
Last year I had my horses stolen by people I know, to this date I have not got them back.
My friend thought she seen on at a fair for sale, and told me after I said that the horses were gone. I asked her if she would talk to the police but she said no because the parents of one that took the horses, lives very close to them.
I understood and moved on from that, however over the last few months Ive started to feel differently towards her. Little things annoy me now, I hate spoilt people and she is fast becoming one. She went on how her mother paid £7000 for her new horse, fair enough their money. Then she had to tell me that she got an iphone and computer consoles etc. Now please dont think im jealous, I work hard and can afford treats but I dont go boasting to anyone about it.
Then she met a guy who was bad news, I voiced my concerns to her mum who agreed, but we both thought the best thing to do was to remain quiet, otherwise it would make her stubborn. He picks her up and drops her again so quickly, of course its me that she turns to. Ive begged her to drop him once and for all, but she refuses. I lent her some rugs from my stolen ones, for her new horse, i then find out she gave some to him!
She then had a horse dumped in one of her dads field, it was a cob that looked just like mine (unfortunately it wasnt!). She phoned me to tell me about it and said if no one claims it, that shes giving it to me. I laughed about that, didnt take her seriously. No one has claimed the horse and its all she goes on about now. I ask her not to talk to me about it as it hurts, as the horse looks like mine that was stolen. Yet she still goes on about it. Sending me pictures of it etc. Ive blocked her now in MSN as she was giving me daily updates on what she did with it!
Ive also started my own equestrian website, selling equestrian products. She does nothing but ask for discount with me, ordered things and ive put it by for her, yet she never comes to collect it or anything!
I do think alot of her, and maybe im being too sensitive.
Sorry should have said that the way shes talking about this horse now is that shes keeping it herself and that shes going to train it up for jumping for HER to compete.
I did get annoyed with her about going on about it, as its something I still dont feel ready to talk about, I flatly told her that she should give it to this guy like she does with other things - i know it was immature, and i regret that now.
Ive talked to her and said, Ive even told her I need some time away from her and why. Nothing has changed. I dont want to lose her as a friend, she does have trouble holding onto friends and I admit at the start I felt sorry for her.
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November 12th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Sounds to me like you need to talk to her about it. Say you think she’s using you etc, and that you want to still be friends but that she has to stop taking advantage of you.
She’s probably "forcing" this horse on you because she thinks you’re missing yours, and that a new horse would take their place. I understand that’s not the case, but it does sound like she’s trying to be nice. Just explain you’re not ready for a new horse right now, but thanks for trying.
She’s quite a bit younger than you, so might seem a little bit spoiled and immature. You have to talk to her about it, just explain it annoys you sometimes, but nicely and then see if she makes more of an effort. If she changes, great. If not, you have to decide if she’s worth putting up with, if you still want her as a friend despite these issues. Good luck!
November 12th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
She’s just one of those who talk/ do whatever they want, not caring about others. I’m sorry to say this, but you’re gonna have to do some shouting. If she realizes what’s going on, she’ll apologize. If not, forget her. She’s not a good friend. You can make more friends. You seem like the guy who’s perfect to be friends with! So, just tell her how you feel, and maybe even shout a little, but not so much that she cries =)
November 12th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
She is not your friend. She’s a user, she’s insensitive, arrogant, spoiled, and has nothing to offer you. It’s all one-sided where you have stuff to offer her, but never vice versa. I don’t think she is an asset to your life at all.