Going into hospital?? can i?

Hi everyone
well i suffer from depression,jealousy,extreme shyness,self esteem issues,wanting to hurt myself.... i dunno. i just feel my life is falling apart. some days are better than others but i dunno... this year i want to acomplish something. but i honestly think i should admit myself to hospital for a few days. but not for a really long time? just for a few days. because i honestly think of hurting myself by starving myself or even cutting even though ive never cut myself... but yh i dunno.
i dont have much friends. they kinda left me because i was depressed and i was "serious" but they honestly didnt listen to what i was saying. i know it must of been hard for them but my life is complicated. i cant get everything just like that... it takes a long time.
Number 1 my mum is mentally ill and its hard for me to be pateint with her... sometimes i swear at her because she constantly checks on me and doesnt leave me alone. shes too overprotective and babies me. maybe thats why im more distant towards people...
number 2 im always quiet in my lssons. i feel sad that people can talk,laugh,communicate but im tooo afraid to. i mean i dunno. its not taht im afraid... well i am but i just feel im not worth enough either
number 3: i feel im not pretty enough. i constantly look at peoples facebook pictures and pictures of celebs.... ok i know that celebs are photoshopped i mean i watched this video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8reUt6Ux1Y&feature=sub
and what shes saying is completly true.. but at teh same time im jealous of the way she looks? i cant be jealous of her personality also but u know. i have issues seriously
number 4: i feel like a part of me is missing... race wise. my mum is mixed and my dad is black so i have some white blood but ive never met my grandad before. he wasnt there for my mumwhen she was little and shes never met him before..... so u know i dunno. i feel like i should know more about him. im black but im really light. ok not really light im beyonces colour. but yh i dunno. i was also thinking of getting a dna test to find out where im completly from etc. i would talk to my mum aboutit but she NEVER wants to talk about it :/
number five: i feel like... i dunno. i feel depressed at times. i wanna get medication and everything because i think i have social anxiety disorder. and maybe some minor bipolar. it only takes one little thing to make me sad. why am i feeling like this? i dunno.

Im constantly jealous,sad,confused about the way i feel,alone,sometimes happy but it only lasts sometimes... should i admit myself to hospital for a few days? to be away from home? i mean my house isnt even nice its got all damp on the walls,plaster falling off,damp on the bathroom etc. i just feel really depressed. my mum doesnt wanna do anything about it. i woudl rather transfer flats because it brings back bad memories when she was mentally ill... i dont wanna stay here tbh.
I also feel everything about me image wise is ugly. especially my hair its ultra dry adn damaged. i know people go through worser things than i do but i just... i wanna have a good year. last year my life was in knots and tangles... it was a mess.

What should i do? im only a teenager so like.... would i have to get my doctor to admit me? and would i have to stay tehre for a long period of time???? i only wanna stay there for a few days.
im also insecrue about my weight and i starve myself sometimes....
and my mum is overweigt so maybe thats why im so upset over it. she gets constipatiion ands tuff so when she goes toilet i always hear her and honestly i get angry? i get angry when shes near me. i just i dunno. shes always constantly bugging me. i would live with my dad but he works.... i dont wanna distrupt his life. and also he has a girlfriend and i get anxious around her... i have more problems but i think thats enough to say...
what should i do? and please dont be cruel. be honest but not cruel

i actually did an exposure today...
i went out with my dad to see my nan in hospital (shes gotten old so she cant eat by herself or walk) so yh shes in an oldage hospital. and when i saw her i couldnt even say hi.. and she cant say hi herself. i could of been a bit more positive. when i came out i just burst out crying and my dad was liek be strong etc. he doesnt understand. and he told my mum ive been struggling with anxiety and everything and shes just pushing it under the carpet saying its ok etc. so yh im not that good. i saw my sister today though but i felt anxiety still. i havent seen her in so long. sometimes i feel like im a bad sister because shes the one who makes the effort getting her toys out and talking about what happened on christmas for her etc.
Its just hard.

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