Dog vs Cat?
The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike
fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...
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April 28th, 2010 at 1:43 am
hahahaha oh my god ..just add to look you must be 1 of my favourites or the other way round ……..was just gona turn off cause dont feel well
good job i never cause i would,nt of seen this …………….love it
iv got to go now need to get off this bloody pc, or im gona be really ill ,love your joke 10/10 see ya soon byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
April 28th, 2010 at 1:43 am
hahaha that is really funny, but i hope my cat does not think that way of me.
April 28th, 2010 at 1:43 am
This is absolutely, fantastically, terrifically wonderful!!! Laughed my a$$ off!!!
April 28th, 2010 at 1:43 am
lol…i love my what you call ..lol haha…he’s safe!…;-)
April 28th, 2010 at 1:43 am
LOL!!! So true!!! Except for me, the ones placed in protective custody are a dozen goldfish!!!
April 28th, 2010 at 1:43 am
wow that was exciting
April 28th, 2010 at 1:43 am
see! cats are boring little monsters and dogs are oh-so-lovable!!!~
April 28th, 2010 at 1:43 am
it seems to be all there execpt for the cats scratching their claws all over the furniture and tearing down the curtains.
April 28th, 2010 at 1:43 am
funny!ya! i love doggies,my dog chase cat for fun.
April 28th, 2010 at 1:43 am
thats absolutely brilliant.
for some reason i found myself being the cat and using my voice for him
more please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 28th, 2010 at 1:43 am
you are on my wavelength. My owner is an imbecile- I almost got her with a move at ankle height today whilst she was preparing my dinner and then she had the audacity to eat the delights she had prepared whilst feeding me what can only be decribed as goop. I am looking for a new owner- how’s yours.
p.s. as far as the dog goes.. Well, the further the dog goes the better.
April 28th, 2010 at 1:43 am
hahaha awesome, i wrote a creative short story similar to that
April 28th, 2010 at 1:43 am
hehehe
April 28th, 2010 at 1:43 am
Nice! Cats really do want to rule the world! (Because you know that’s where it is going) I though it was just a movie.
April 28th, 2010 at 1:43 am
LOL. Yep! LOL.