After a long ugly silent treatment from your spouse do they suddenly turn around and act like nothings wrong?
After another long silent treatment given me by my spouse he walks into my room and asks if I want to go to dinner with him as if nothings wrong? As if the 2 month hiatus he took from our marriage is now declared "over" by him. and now we can resume as if nothing ever happened. Just goes back to business as usual .
No explanations, no accountability, no repentance or trying to work out serious issues. He wants me to go back to this sick pattern of dancing around problems by never addressing them. He Just totally discount and diminishes them. I think he believes that if you don't recognize them then they don't exist. In his mind anyway. This is the same old song and dance over and over. After a reprehensible, inconsiderate deed, then a long icy silent treatment he turns on a dime and acts like nothing ever happened. No accountability. Just tries to sweep it under the rug. He feels arrogant and entitled. He just dances around issues and stonewalls and goes back to "business as usual.
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September 20th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
Short and sweet version: My husband used to do this to me. If I was anything less than perfect, I would get the silent treatment.
I finally sat him down and calmy, coolly discussed this with him. I told him that in no uncertain terms, this would be the last time I would tolerate the silent treatment. I told him what he could expect the next time he decided to pull this stunt (the equivalent of a temper tantrum). I explained that the next time, I would pack up the kids, the pets, and all our belongings, and we would leave without him. He needed to find a better way to work out his issues.
It never happened again, and that was maybe 15 years ago? We have been married 27+ years, and every year does get better. It’s hard work, but it is worth it.
Stick up for yourself. If he sees you gaining more respect for your own self, he may step up and be the man and husband he should be.
Good luck!
September 20th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
My husband does that to me ALL THE TIME. However, when we get into an argument and I try to do it — it doesn’t fly. He only gives in when it’s convenient for him.
September 20th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
Your husband obviously has communication issues and probably power issues with himself. I would like to know if it is self esteem. Has he gained weight and how do you look? Sometimes in a marriage when one starts to gain weight and start looking bad they take it out on the other spouse and that is not right and that is what your situation seems to be.
September 20th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
TWO MONTHS??? That’s just crazy, how can you live with that? I can see one or two days, but that’s just stupid on his part, you don’t have to put up with that at all! Sounds like counseling is in order here. He can’t do that, it’s not fair. I would tell him how I feel, tell him that by giving you these ugly silent treatments is wrong and things need to be talked out. If things aren’t delt with, then it only gets worse. If my husband did that to me, I’d be out the door! I wouldn’t stand for it.
September 20th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
YES. IT FRUSTRATES ME WHEN HE DOES THAT. HE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED AND CONTINUE DOING WHAT HE WA DOING OR TRY TO MAKE ME LAUGH LIKE IF I WERE REALLY IN A LAUGHING MOOD..
September 20th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
ok, this happens to me too. It’s because they either know they were wrong and don’ twant to admit it or talk about it or they just don’t want to even deal with confrontation. Just make sure when this happens say you know just by ignoring problems doesn’t mean they go away and sometimes it makes it worse cause you still feel upset or hurt and then harbor those inside and that is not productive. Sit down and tell him this needs to change and you need open and honest communication or he needs to go to counseling with you! Dont let him get away with it anymore, once you stand up to him he should get the idea he needs to change.
September 20th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
My boyfriend does the same thing, usually after 2-3 days of not speaking to each other he will walk up to me and kiss me and return to business as usual. I have confronted him depending on the severity of the issue, and forced a dialog, but if it was something that was a one time off argument that is most likely not going to happen again I let it pass, at least initially. It does come back up again later once tempers are settled and we can both discuss it logically. This may work for you, you may also want to get a therapist/pastor/unemotional 3rd party involved since your issue involved such a long withdrawal.
September 20th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
That’s bullsh*t. My first comment to him would have been kiss my as*. Here you don’t talk to me for how ever long, and then you think I want to sit across a table from you, and act like you didn’t make me feel like a piece of sh*t already. Go have dinner with someone else, and continue to ignore me like you have been. Life would be better that way.
Wow I am venting, and this isn’t even my problem. I feel where you are coming from though because, the same crap happens to me every now and again. I refuse to sweep it under the rug. Relationships don’t work without communication, and he needs to get knocked off his horse and face facts. Don’t let him avoid the situation any longer. If he doesn’t like it then tell him to get the f*ck out.
September 20th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
yep. or, just because we went to sleep, and woke the next morning, everything should be fine…never got that one either
September 20th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
by all the other answers u can tell it is a man thing, but im sure there are women that do it to. go out to dinner if he is wanting to take you. try to engage him in conversation no questions that he can respond in one or two words. like how are u doing? normally you get from him is… fine. and dont force him in a corner as to why he did it, but understand he knows he is wrong and that is why he wants to go out that is how men do it.